Sitting in my favorite hotel lobby, I glance up as the manager strolls past me. Sometimes I want to be her: the snappy lady in business dress, iPhone in hand, and smile on her face. Her hair bounces ever so slightly when she walks. She manages an entire hotel–an entire hotel! I sip my coffee and peruse Pinterest, while she runs this tourist monstrosity.
Has your life ever felt tiny? I know mine has. Living on an island thirty-five miles long and ten miles wide (at its widest) and attempting to be a writer can feel rather small. Oh, I know that my work as a teacher and tutor has been important, but sometimes when I see pictures of friends’ career exploits, road trips, and cheap, healthy food–panic arises.
I know all the right answers to lecture at the panic gripping my heart and clawing at my throat. Avoiding my work I go to Facebook where I read that my heroine, Elisabeth Elliot died. Being in public, I cannot cry, and shouldn’t anyway. I didn’t know her, really. But her books are my greatest collection. Her words have both affirmed me when in distress and spanked me when I was acting a fool.
She made me feel less like a freak when I didn’t date in high school and was a mentor whose sharp words pierced through the excuses and lame defenses I put up against doing God’s will. And I thank God for her.
‘Tiny’ is merely a matter of perspective. To what am I comparing my life–God’s Word or earthly prestige? There is nothing wrong with a cool job, but there is plenty wrong with my feeble heart and questioning attitude. I am a woman, and Elisabeth Elliot helped teach me what that means:
“We are women, and my plea is ‘Let me be a woman,’ holy through and through, asking for nothing but what God wants to give me, receiving with both hands and with all my heart whatever that is.”
She was a slight woman with a large gap between her teeth, and even wrote about her lack of external beauty, but God used her so, both by living amongst those who killed her husband, and by writing and traveling to share His love and wisdom. God can always use the tiny, if the tiny is given to Him. So today, as I am feeling a bit tiny, I will remember my darling and daring Elisabeth Elliot, a warrior of the Faith. May I wield my sword for the Lord as she did.
Thank you for everything, Ms. Elisabeth. I look forward to meeting you one day.
Keep the Faith,
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