There is a scene in Shall We Dance that makes me cry. The fact that I like this movie might surprise a few. However, so many movies show a love I do not recognize, a love I do not know…probably because it does not exist, or is not actually love.
It is a story of a steady, married, middle-aged man who is intrigued by a woman in the window of a ballroom dancing studio window. He starts secretly taking ballroom lessons and even competes–all along not telling his wife that he is cha-cha-chaing with J-Lo once a week.
Now, do I like this part? Goodness, no. There is NO WAY that I would like to see my husband doing the tango with J-Lo (unless they happened to be related, seeing as they are both Puerto Rican).
Anyway, it gets better. The man comes clean (after his wife hires a detective). He loves his wife–they have a good life, albeit a boring one. Life is sometimes boring.
Her initial anger gives way to understanding, and she encourages him to go to the farewell dance party of the J-Lo character. She buys him a tux and shiny shoes, and slips off to her job at the mall.
Cue the part that makes me sob: the man comes to the mall wearing the tux and carrying a rose, for she is his true dance partner.
She says she does not know how.
Surrounding the scene is Peter Gabriel’s “The Book of Love.”
“The book of love is long and boring…and is full of…instructions for dancing”
We live in a world that is constantly trying to redefine love. We live in a world that says love should always be wild and passionate. We live in a world that (at the same time) says lasting love is impossible, so just go to the nightclub for an experience (and likely an STD).
Forget about the morning, because mornings are boring…and we couldn’t have that. But we get ‘boring’ all wrong. It is what you do with ‘boring’ that matters. It is the effort to spice things up and bring a smile to one another’s face; that is what matters.
I saw my parents go through boring days. I saw them go through gut-wrenching days. But I also saw them dance. And that is what made the ‘boring’ beautiful.
If you ask me, a man who is willing to risk ‘boring’ with you is much better than stupid “Hey girl” quotes from Ryan Gosling or fantasizing over Nicholas Sparks flicks.
Romance is important, but remember that it is only worthwhile if experienced with someone who is willing to do ‘boring’ with you. To quote Lady Grantham from Downton Abbey, “Marriage is a long business.” So let there some beautiful boring times. We serve a God who does exciting things, but most profoundly we sense His daily faithfulness. Can daily faithfulness be boring sometimes? Sure, but mostly…it is beautiful.
Keep the Faith,
“We need a witness to our lives…in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things…all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying, ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.'” ~Shall We Dance